- reading in head: i'm practically a master of linguistics my pronunciations are perfect beyond compare
- reading aloud: *chokes on spit*
Who else can’t seem to stop shaking their leg?
That is called ‘Restless-Leg-Syndrome’. People who have it tend to sleep worse and suffer from depression.
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE